Cynthia Evans has often wondered why it is that she has had to endure many of the circumstances with which her life has been challenged. She would not accept that she did anything to deserve being abandoned by her father, or having a mother who struggled with addictions requiring her to grow up way too soon and be saddled with the responsibility of raising her three younger brothers. She didn’t sign up for a life in the Projects of Chicago where dodging bullets, avoiding gang wars, and devaluing her own worth to a sexual level became the order of the day. But Cynthia is now certain that there was a reason for every season of her life. Those experiences were only intended to build her personal testimony to the redeeming power of Jesus Christ. She can reflect and see that she was never alone, even though at times she could not feel the presence of God through the darkness, the pain or the tears. He was there through it all, making the way of escape and orchestrating the events of her life to lead her right into the place where she can shine as an example of His faithfulness and transforming power.
The writings in “Voices of Cyn…Traces of a Backslider” were a labor of love that required Cynthia to revisit some of the most difficult places in her journey; places that were never in her desire to see again. But for the benefit of every other heart that is questioning “Why me?” she was willing to reach back, open old wounds and even cry afresh as she recalled the fears, the betrayals, the foolishness, and struggles along this journey. In doing so, she has also marveled at God’s goodness and mercy that has clearly followed her all the days of her life.
I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.
This is crazy. Simply insane. The way my body jolts at just the mention of your name. The chemistry engaged between you and me that had us both rejoicing. We were forcing something that was never meant to be because we needed more than chemistry to be a couple.
We need more than just the intertwining of our bodies, the locking of our lips or the dips and shifts; more than just heavy breathing from the explosion of full pleasure. We cannot measure the quality of our relationship off pure ecstasy. Ecstasy is supposed to feel good but it does not last forever.
Nevertheless, that pleasure does not override the pain. It does not cover up the black eyes or the blood that drains out of my veins. It does not take back the hurtful words and deeds that invade my mind every time I think about our chemistry.
Chemistry nearly killed me. It beat me upside my head like a punching bag and dragged me across the floor. It stomped me as if I were a whore who tried to run away from her pimp. It tempted me to return the favor.
If I could just come out of this shock, I would rock your world. I would drop chemistry and add mathematics. You know, I never really liked science anyway. I would have my way with you. Two minus one equals me without you and I could live with that.
I could live without the dangers you brought into my life. To think, I actually thought about becoming your wife. How trifling is that? How desperate was I? Chemistry was a lie.
It deceived me into thinking you were the man of my dreams. The one who made me scream with joy until that scream derived from something I never imagined. I never dreamed you could hit me like that. I never knew that I would be that cat who went back after the abuse and the threats. But, I did.
Chemistry was like, Please! We can get through this. It was just one of those unfortunate incidents. You know none of this makes sense since Chemistry was venomous.
The kind of toxin that had me doing the unthinkable… the unbelievable.
I still cannot believe I let your sperm meet my eggs; making babies I never had. And I know what I did was wrong but I just would not do right. Right meant that Chemistry would be in my life for at least another eighteen years. I just had to keep Chemistry out of my life.
Lord, please forgive me.
Cynthia was born in Chicago, Illinois and spent most of her life in-between her hometown and Las Vegas, Nevada where she currently resides. A single mother at the age of twenty-one, now in her third year of marriage, she persevered and achieved her Bachelor of Science degree in Human Services Counseling with a minor in Addictions Treatment and is currently working toward her Master’s degree in Marriage, Family and Child Therapy. She bears many titles: servant of God, wife, mother, grandmother, student and now author. Since the age of sixteen, when she initially found Christ and accepted Him into her life, Cynthia has struggled to find her own purpose and place in the Kingdom. Like many of her readers, she found herself vacillating in and out of the church for years as she yielded to the various tricks and temptations of the enemy. Nevertheless, she can now proudly proclaim that her purpose has
been revealed and she is rooted and grounded in Christ, and has submitted to the will of the Lord for her life. Cynthia declares to the world that she is nothing more than a sinner saved by grace, and gives all glory and honor to God Almighty for His mercy, grace, and favor over her life. The fact that God endured all of her escapades, and double-mindedness during her journey so far is a testimony of His faithfulness to complete the work He starts within each of us. Also knowing that the journey is by no means over, and that there are many tripping tendencies remaining in her flesh from which she still must be freed, she is prepared to be further purged and exposed through her writings and used by God for His glory.
Get to Know Cynthia:
1. How did you get involved in writing?
As many people who have made writing a career, I was introduced to writing in elementary school. In the eighth grade, I submitted a short story in a writing competition and won first place. Although my talent for writing showed itself, it was not until I became intimately involved with an old friend who was a rapper, that I became passionate about my writing. I went from writing “love letters”, to rap music, to R&B songs, to poetry and short stories. I never thought of my writing as a gift, but now I realize that it truly is a gift from God. I imagine most authors write on a regular basis, however, it has been years since I have written consistently. However, I was inspired during the summer of 2011 to set a goal to not only start, but to actually complete my first book before the summer was over and I did just that. Voices of Cyn…Traces of a Backslider is here.
2. How did you come up with the title of your book?
Well, I only came up with part of the title. My husband, Ron Evans, came up with my brand name, Voices of Cyn. Since the book addresses issues of backsliding, CYN (short for Cynthia) is a play on the term SIN. As it relates to Traces of a Backslider, I wanted a name that would invite the readers to embark on a journey with me that would carry us out onto the road to hell and back home again. That title also implies that for all of us, there are likely to be remnants of our past that we will certainly lie in the shadows of our lives that are meant to be a testimony to the transforming power of God.
3. How factual are the experiences you share in the book?
Everything I discuss in Voices of Cyn…Traces of a Backslider are drawn from my real-life situations. I tried my best to be as transparent as I could be about issues of life that are very common to many people. Yes, I have had abortion after abortion, been involved in adulterous relationships, took part in domestically violent interactions, engaged in sex out of wedlock and
more. These are just some of the things that I found myself constantly repenting for and asking God to forgive me. I am so thankful that we serve a merciful God.
4. What message do you want your readers to get from reading Voices of Cyn…Traces of a Backslider?
I would like people to understand that all Christians are real people with real struggles whether they share those struggles or not. We must know and believe that there is no sin greater than God’s grace. No one is perfect. In fact, God knowing that there is no perfect thing in us, He sent His son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for the remission of our sins. Therefore, whatever “that” is that may have you bound, Christ declares that He died for “that”, and His death is not in vain. Repent, believe that you are forgiven, walk away from your wicked ways and rest in the peace and love of God. You are not alone, never forsaken and there are people who, like me, desire to see you live the life Christ has designed for you. As long as there is breath in my body, I will minister words of support and encouragement in some form, or fashion, and I will pray on your behalf.
5. What inspired you to write this book?
Honestly, I was inspired by Antoya “Toya” Wright. During one of the seasons of the Tiny & Toya Reality Television Show, Toya began to write her first book, and when she completed her novel and began to promote it, I was so proud of her and inspired by her. I thought, “I could do this too”, and I did. The same year I was inspired by her accomplishment, I wrote and completed Voices of Cyn…Traces of a Backslider.
6. What is your mission?
My mission is to help others overcome, accept and be excited about the process of transformation. It is also to encourage us all to uplift one another and inspire each other to live for Christ no matter what it is they may have experienced in the past, are experiencing right now, or will ever experience in this lifetime. Nothing shall separate any of us from the love of God.
7. What are your current projects?
I have two projects I am working on. First, I am in the process of putting together a documentary entitled Traces of a Backslider. I am looking for Christians who are willing to be transparent about their struggles in their walk with Christ. Secondly, I am working on my next book that I plan to release in 2013. In the meantime, I am excited about my husband’s upcoming novel Timeless Laws for Today by Ron Evans, and I am looking forward to working beside him as we go out and minister as a couple. We are also working toward the launch of CYNRG ONE, which will be our umbrella company for the projects we will release in the near future.
Contact the author:
Web-links for Face-Book, Twitter, Author Site, Blogs, and Networks Facebook http://facebook.com/VoicesOfCyn MySpace http://myspace.com/VoicesOfCyn Twitter http://twitter.com/VoicesOfCyn Website www.voicesofcyn.com
Buy the book:
Barnes & Noble
Voices of Cyn Website