Heartbreak, we’ve all been there a time or two. From the tears spent and the sleepless nights the emotions can take their toll. In her book Get Over Him Girl: The Moving on Manual, first-time author Lakelia DeLoach gives practical tips on dealing, healing, and moving on from the pain.
What inspired you to write the book?
My pain inspired me to write this book. After my divorce I searched everywhere for answers on how to move on. I read a few books, watched a few movies but I felt like they didn’t apply to me. It sometimes felt like it was for more “seasoned” women or like I was listening to a therapist. I then created my own steps to help me through my divorce and when they worked so well friends asked for them. They all convinced me to write this book and share it with every other heart-broken woman. So I did, I created the best friend in a book.
With so many “break- up” books out there, what do you think makes yours unique?
What makes my break-up book so unique is the wording and the target audience. I don’t want to be my readers’ therapist or mom; I want to be their best friend. My book is like listening to your best friend. All women can read my book, but I felt like reaching out to the age group of 18-30 was important. A woman’s biggest break-up or first divorce usually happens before the age of 30 and society just tells us “you’re young, you can start over. It’s no big deal”. To me it is a big deal because reflecting on your past relationships and learning the mistakes you made can prevent a life long battle with future relationships. This book can help you start looking for Mr. Right, the right way. Lastly, society is known for saying how bitter black women are and how we don’t know how to move on. We are known for fighting over men, and how angry we are. My book shows that we are not all like that. We do forgive, we are not all angry and we do know how to love and let go.
Was it difficult to write about your own heartbreak? Did you have any concerns about telling the story of your divorce?
Writing about my own heartbreak did not bother me, maybe because I was over him by the time I wrote this book. But to tell the world about my divorce, that’s another story. I am usually a very private person. Only those close to me knew why I was divorced. Half of my friends and associates had no clue I was even divorced for a while. So now that I had to “put it all out there” it made me a bit uneasy. It made me feel vulnerable and I’m known as the one who is always strong. I’m opening up another side of me that many don’t get to see.
The most challenging thing about getting my book done was researching self-publishing and marketing. Self-publishing is a lot of work. Writing the book is the easiest part, but getting it out there is another story. I literally read over 25 self-publishing books and over 100 articles. I could probably write a book on self-publishing now lol.
What advice would you give to new authors?
The advice I would give new authors is what I wish someone had given to me. If you have a book in your heart, write it. Don’t wait. Time is going to pass anyway if you write it or not, so why not write it now. Also take your time. I know when you have a book finished you are so ready to publish it and get it out there. Give yourself time for possible setbacks and write a marketing plan.
What’s next for you?
What is next for me? Only God knows. I’m actually working on my second non-fiction book and my first fiction book. I am also in the process of writing a play. But you never know, life has a funny way of showing us what we have planned is not always written in our story.
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