Justin Moseley is a self-centered, egotistical jerk…. No-for real He’s a real piece of work… but he doesn’t know it. For Justin, this fact is a mystery to him. Due to a tragic, near-fatal accident, Justin is left without any recollection of the previous year. He slowly begins to discover what an uncaring villain he has been, by having to relive the year through the eyes of the women that he loves, as they recount to him tales of his deceit and betrayal. As Justin fights to get his life back and redefine himself as a man, he begins to realize just how much he has taken for granted and how many people he has hurt. When he tries against all odds to renew his relationships with those closest to him, he has to contend with changing the minds of some who are not yet ready to forgive or trust him again.
Excerpt from, Just in Case
A novel by Devian Nikei
“I would ask where you’ve been…” Hatshepsut begins, “but-”
She has a frown on her face, as she stands at my door. She presses a brown paper bag of groceries towards my chest. Her eyebrows wrinkle into an expression of concern. It’s genuine.
With her, it always is.
Hatshepsut’s mother is a pro-Black, fist-raised type of woman who named her daughter after the first female pharaoh to ever rule over Egypt. Of course, Hatshepsut Duvall is sensitive about her name, mostly because ignorant niggahs– not Nubians, who don’t know about their own history, have picked on and mispronounced it her whole life.
Me– I call her She.
I met her maybe a year and a half ago. I delivered a package to her job. She is a nurse at Innovations Healthcare. She signed for the package, and after I threw a few vague hints, she gave me her number. I knew early on after about a week that I wanted her to be mine.
She– Her… Me… Mine.
I call her She because she is everything to me. I love her, but she doesn’t know it.
“Your mom told me the where, but what I don’t know is the why?” She says, stepping into my apartment. I kiss her thick lips. I can’t help myself. It would be useless to try to stop. She allows my lips to greet her for a moment before pulling away and heading straight for the kitchen. I close the front door and follow behind her like a sheep.
She is the only one who has ever been here– in my home. She’s the only one who’s worthy of laying her head next to mine. She has met Ma Dukes and is the only one who bears her seal of approval.
She is the only one… period.
She is my queen.
“Are you going to answer me?” She says, putting her bag down on the counter.
I wasn’t really listening to her, so I don’t know what I’m supposed to say right now. Usually, I hang on every word she says. Unlike other females, I don’t ignore her. We have great conversations because She is extremely intelligent. I’m a better man, the best man– I think, when I’m with her. But it’s been awhile since I’ve seen her, so she’s got me mesmerized. She looks so sexy, even without trying. She’s got her hair tied up in a decorative, green scarf, with a pink T-shirt and gray yoga pants on.
“I just got back home today. I don’t want to talk about it right now.” I put my bag down and turn back to her. I grip her waist and pull her to me slowly. “How you been, Ma?”
She smells so good, so subtle and feminine– like vanilla. I breathe her in before I let my lips rest in the ridge above her collarbone. She pushes my hands away. I let her press them down over her butt, so I can get a feel, before I release my hold.
“You can’t use that reverse psychology on me, Kayman.”
She also has the privilege of choosing a pet name for me. Kayman is my middle name, but she likes it, so I give her the license to use it. She can call me whatever she wants to for all I care– just so long as she calls me.
I don’t think females really understand how much a man can love their ass. A lot of women get their hearts smashed by Pussy Hunters when they’re young, so they grow up not trusting men. The truth is that men love far deeper than women think they do. If love was a competition, men would win it– hands down. Since guys can’t really multi-task, when we get truly focused on one woman, it’s like she is the only one in the universe. Chicks are constantly going a hundred miles per hour, so they aren’t capable of giving the same kind of undivided love that a man does… and they usually miss his adoration, if they are not paying extremely close attention to their man.
She pays very close attention to me. She looks for my love like a detective, but I am a Master Mind Bender, so I keep it under her radar. It’s cool though because She gives me a lot of credit. I’ve got a Black Card with her. I don’t have to tell her how I feel to keep her. She holds me down without any commitment.
But sometimes, I think I love her so much that I might accidentally slip up and admit it one day. The truth is that I keep so many other females around me because I believe this affection that I have for She could consume me and turn me into a Sucker–for–Love type Nubian. I don’t really need a lot of pussy to keep me satisfied. I just keep the others around to distract me from my feelings for Hatshepsut. I keep my heart divided up, so that it never belongs to any one woman.
I know that sounds fucked up, but it works for me. I can’t give into the way I feel about her because I’m not ready to be the man that She needs me to be. I’m so afraid of getting in deep with her and having her fall in love with me, then fucking it up by doing something stupid. I could lose her forever then, and that’s a risk I don’t want to take. I’d much rather take my time, than take my chances.
Women will give you plenty of time, if you ask for it and make them believe that the wait is worth their while, but what they won’t give you plenty of– is chances. Once you break their heart, it’s a ticking time bomb, waiting to go off and destroy your life. I want to always keep my friendship with She, so that’s why I won’t make her my lady.
She is very considerate and accommodating. She makes me feel like a man– no, a king. She lets me be who I am. She believes me and she believes in me. She can have whatever she wants from me, but she doesn’t want anything– except the one thing that I can’t give her, which is all of me.
Even now, she’s in my kitchen, fixing something quick and simple. Something she knows I love and haven’t had for a week. She is making my favorite– Pepperoni Pizza.
“I promise I’ll tell you everything in the morning.” I say, coming up behind her, letting her feel the big, thick package that I have for her. I know how to make her melt. She lets me feel her body against mine before peeling my hands away again.
I don’t generally like that hard-to-get act, but with She, it’s cute. It’s like foreplay for us. She likes to act like she doesn’t want to give it up, so that I will pursue her. I give in because it heightens our sexual experience.
“Ain’t you awfully bold?” She says slicing the pizza.
“What makes you think I’ll still be here in the morning?”
Devian Nikei is a native of Charlotte, North Carolina. This actress, singer/songwriter, choreographer and entertainer is also an author. She has written critically-acclaimed Safety In Lovers (2011) and fan favorite novel, Just In Case (2015) on her own publishing company Nikei Novels. Her love of writing and literature began on the campus of Fayetteville State University where she wrote competitively earning various awards and acknowledgements. She is currently writing and pursuing a B.S in Psychology in her hometown.
Get to know Devian:
How do you deal with writer’s block?
I deal with writer’s block by journaling. I just finished up with a bout with writer’s block which lasted for two years. Writer’s block is as crippling and debilitating as an injury or disease. If you don’t continue to write something through it, you may not ever come back to writing. Writer’s block can make you fall out of love with writing and turn it into a chore so you have to be careful to find fun and innovative ways to continue the writing process. I do believe, however, that journaling truly helped me to overcome it and kept my writer’s perspective fresh.
How do you get inspired to write?
Everything around me can potentially become inspiration for my writings. I am most inspired by my family and relationships. When I am stressed or facing adversity, writing is a creative outlet for me. Therefore, just about anything that I or others close to me are facing could very well provide the inspiration that I need to write a novel. I do consider myself to be somewhat of a journalist and historian so I do try to incorporate, in different forms; events, themes or causes which I feel need to be explored. I want my work to make a long-lasting impact. I believe that romance and erotica can be also be an expository and thought-provoking literary genre.
Where did you get the idea for your most recent book?
The idea for my most recently released novel, Just in Case came directly from my journal entries. I had just recently finished another dead-end relationship and decided to share some insights, which I had gain throughout the years, in an entertaining novel from a male first person perspective. The book touches on many of the nuances of love and the male psyche. Honestly, I wrote the book as a kind of literary therapy to keep from busting a windshield or burning some clothes. This worked out way better!
What’s your advice for aspiring writers?
My advice for aspiring authors is to seek guidance from a professional first. Writing is not for everyone. It is more than just a project; it is a lifestyle. If you truly desire to write and publish your work then you must be prepared for very harsh criticism and very little support. However, you can stave off a bit of the discouraging and disparaging remarks and critiques by having a professional product. It can be costly and time consuming, but having a professional product is well worth the investment.
What’s the best thing about being a writer?
The best thing about being a writer is being able to say what you want to say without censorship. It’s like a speech or a state of the union address. You can pick subjects that you are passionate about and use your perspective to entertain, inform, or persuade… the gambit of your influence is limitless. I believe that our books, stories and novels are our progeny. Long before words could be written down; stories, anthologies, and folklore was the history of the civilizations. Many of these stories have survived for millenia and I just want to make my indelible mark on the fabric of history and society. Devian was here!… and this is what she had to say.
What are you currently working on?
My most current work is a book entitled god face (no caps). It was written for my sister who passed away in September 2015. It is bittersweet to be publishing the book and dedicating it to her posthumously; however, I believe that her story and stories like hers can help so many people. It is very different than anything else I have written. The concept of the book basically revolves around that one day in everyone’s lives that they wish they could go back to change and the ramifications which come from trying to play God. In a very abstract way, this book is about everything I wish I could’ve been for my sister in her life. The perpetual wondering of if I could have changed the outcome. It is an emotionally-charged, honest look at the experiment known as the human experience.
What kind of books and novels do you read?
Some of my favorite authors are Stephen King, Toni Morrison, Pearl S. Buck, Zane, James Patterson, and Kurt Vonnegut… this list goes on and on. My reading habits are as vast and wide-ranging as you can imagine. I like sci-fi and fantasy novels like the Hobbit, Brave New World and The Lord of the Rings. I love the literary classics, like Animal Farm, The Invisible Man and the Hatchet. Shakespeare, poetry and prose, Edgar Allen Poe. African American authors, Nikki Giovanni, Sister Souljah and Omar Tyree-with whom I share a hometown. I am a true bibliophile!
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