Ten years of believing, yet still no husband in sight for Shenita Love. The Bible does say “Wait on the Lord,” which, for Shenita, means waiting for God to deliver her a soul mate. Then again, God helps those who help themselves.
On her thirty-fifth birthday, Shenita’s fear of never starting a family has reached a fever pitch. Her trusty “rule book”—filled with guidelines for dating—simply isn’t cutting it. Soon Shenita is signing up for online dating sites, hitting on men at sporting events, and putting herself out there in ways she never imagined.
When Shenita stops playing by the book and takes matters into her own hands, she finds anything can happen.
Meanwhile, her closest friends are struggling with their own issues of sexuality, acceptance, divorce, insecurity, and financial strain. Always the faithful shoulder to lean on, Shenita wants to be there for them, but her desire to find a man leads her to an unforeseeable circumstance. A place where she must examine her relationship with God and reconsider her priorities.
“Happy Birthday to ya…Happy Birthday to ya…Happy Birth-day!” sang and clapped my three closest girlfriends at a small table inside a quaint restaurant in downtown Detroit. Too bad it wasn’t karaoke night; that was Thursday. But I was still too excited that my birthday fell on a Saturday in March this year. That made up for the fact that it was my 35th and here I am celebrating it with a bunch of females.
I love my girls and all, but sometimes a sister just wants the presence of a man.
Here I am all decked out with my off the shoulder purple blouse, short fitted gray skirt, silver stilettos and matching Gucci bag yet no man to compliment me on how good I looked. I had just gotten my hair cut and colored with a light brown Mohawk on top that faded to black in the back and my makeup was flawless. I even bought and wore hazel contacts, which I was hesitant to buy at first because of my brown complexion – but they actually looked kinda cute on me.
I was feeling this “new look” and new me, yet there was no man seated next to me to whisper in my ear how I was the finest thing in the room. Nope, at thirty-five, here I am with not a prospect in sight. No man, no boyfriend, not even a “special friend.”
Lord knows I just knew I would have been married with at least two kids by now.
I’ve been believing God for a husband for over 10 years now.
I keep my list of ten things I’m believing God for in a mate tucked away in the zipper part of my Bible cover and have done so for years. I guess I never really attached a timetable to my requests – maybe I should have said something to the tune of, “Before my eggs dry up and I have to believe God like Sarah and Abraham, Lord.” Maybe then my prayer may have been granted a little earlier. At the rate I’m going, I’m going to have to take in vitro and believe God for twins. Thank God for technology.
“Haaaa-peeee-birthday…Happy Birthday…Happy Birthday…”
I could tell the waiters and waitresses, all of diverse hues, were getting a kick out of my friends’ rendition of the Stevie Wonder classic as they grinned from ear to ear and nodded their heads. I wondered if they had ever heard it before.
Or maybe they were laughing at my girl Danielle, also known as Dani, who swayed wildly with her Android taking pics in one hand and her glass of Sprite on the rocks in the other. If you didn’t know Dani was saved you would think she was drunk, and at just two years shy of forty, one would never know by the way she carried herself. Always ready for a good time, Dani took pics of herself showing off her fresh makeover, which brought out the peach undertones in her tan complexion, and her new black-and-gold minidress, which flattered her tall, curvy frame; and she also took pics of me and the rest of the crew and uploaded them to Facebook simultaneously, half of which I hadn’t even seen yet to approve. Lord, I hope she doesn’t tag me in any pics where I’m looking crazy. Candid shots get on my nerves.
“Make a wish, girl!” Danielle yelled while snapping her head swerving her long, black layered weave to the other side, almost hitting Jackie in the face.
Jackie just looked at her and rolled her eyes as she proceeded to stir her black coffee. She wiped the cheek where Danielle’s hair almost smacked her, probably hoping it didn’t turn her fair skin pink, as Jackie bruises easily. She had stopped singing the song a while ago and looked ready to go home. At thirty-six, Jackie appeared as if she had had enough of all the many years of singing birthday songs and probably wanted to catch a rerun of her favorite show, Law and Order, again. With her being a prominent, well-respected attorney in the city she was greatly intrigued by that show. I wouldn’t be surprised if my birthday festivities weren’t ruining all her normal Saturday-night fun. Jackie ran her fingers through her short curly red hair, then rested her hand on her forehead.
“Yeah, Shenita,” sprang Pippa while scooting her chair in closer to the table and positioning her round frame just right as she pointed her light brown manicured finger toward me matter-of-fact, “The Word says in 3 John 1:2 Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth, so it’s okay to make a wish and blow out the candles.”
At thirty-two and the youngest of the crew, I wondered if Pippa really thought I needed her approval based on The Word on whether or not I should make a wish? I guess she didn’t know me as well as I thought she did, otherwise she would know I’ve been making wishes and blowing out candles ever since I got saved fifteen years ago. I wasn’t convicted about it then and I sholl ain’t convicted about it now.
Man, this birthday cake had so many candles on it that it looked like if I didn’t blow them out fast someone would have to call a fire truck.
Thirty-five candles – one for each year of my long, unfruitful life.
I take that back, as a public relations specialist for the Detroit chapter of a national non-profit, One Love Initiative, from the outside looking in, I had all the makings of a success. I literally have had hundreds of people come up to me in tears and say how the non-profit I work for, which as a result of fundraising efforts provides housing options for single parents and low-income families, how I, or at least how my efforts, changed their lives. I love what I do, and thank God for the job that definitely keeps a sister’s condo association fees paid and Benz car payment up to date, but even still, I feel my life is lacking in one area. Love.
So with a big inhale and then a huge blow over the strawberry shortcake with my favorite cream cheese icing, I silently made the same wish I’ve been making since I was twenty-five: “I wish to find true love and happiness” Except this time I did something I had never done before with my wish. I added these four words,
“This year, Lord . . . please.”
Kim Brooks is the Award-winning author of non-fiction and fiction books for singles including Black Expressions Bestselling novel, He’s Fine…but is he Saved? and her newest novel release, She That Findeth.
Kim has been a guest columnist for Gospel Today Magazine and featured on The Word Network and she publishes a monthly eNewsletter, The Single Heart, and an online daily devotional for single women which encourages thousands worldwide and is subscribable for free on her website, Kimontheweb.com
Get to know Kim:
Kim, tell us about your book?
She That Findeth is about what happens when a 35-year-old single saved woman, Shenita Love, gets tired of waiting on God to send her a husband and decides to take matters into her own hands by attempting to find one on her own. She does everything from shopping at home improvement stores in stilettos, positioning herself outside men’s bible studies, joining online dating websites and attending sporting events sole.
While she’s on a man hunt, her closest friends deal with their own issues including financial strain and the temptation to return to a former life, bitterness after divorce, insecurities and sexual identity and acceptance. By the end of the novel the reader discover what Shenita really finds, and whether or not what she was looking for really been there all along.
Kim, tell us about yourself.
I’m a Detroiter who has had a passion for writing since first grade. Once I got saved and received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, a year later I asked God, “What is my purpose? Why am I here?” Not long thereafter the Lord revealed to me that the passion I have for writing since I was young is part of what I’m called to do. It’s my purpose. For me, writing is not just a pastime; it’s who I am.
How did you come up with ideas for this book?
Along with being an author, I’m a licensed minister who speaks mainly to singles. I’ve been speaking to single audiences for 10 years. I’ve noticed that many of the concerns of the single women are the same and some even mirror my own seeing as though I’m over 35 and single as well. When I would have “moments” of wanting a man, I would jot those feelings down, because one thing I’ve learned through ministering is that if I’m feeling a certain way, then many other single women are probably feeling this same way as well.
Not only that but I wanted to show the different issues single women go through while being single in their thirties – the outside pressures from family members wondering when are you getting married, friends getting married all around you left and right while you’re left worrying, “I’m saved, I’m a decent person, where is my Boaz?”
So this book speaks to many who have felt this way while single, while being presented in an entertaining way it ultimately encourages the reader to be strengthened in their walk with the Lord while waiting.
What was the most difficult aspect of writing this book?
The most difficult aspect of writing this book was knowing that not everyone will agree with certain things discussed, including some members of the church. This book not only touches on the subject of singleness but it also discusses homosexuals and the church and how I feel the church, as a whole, has done a horrible job representing the love of Christ to the gay community. Shenita Love is a light for her gay friend since high school, RayShawn, who has issues of his own throughout the book and feels rejected by God because his treatment by the church.
Why do you write? Is it something you’ve always done, or always wanted to do? Or is it something that you started fairly recently?
I write because it is my purpose. It’s what I was put on this earth to do. I’ve been writing since I was a member of my elementary school’s Young Writer’s Club in the first grade, and interestingly enough I’ve also written about “boys” 🙂 My main purpose is ministry, and I consider everything I do – whether writing fiction, non-fiction or songs – is ministry. Its purpose is to edify, encourage and inspire while lifting up the Name of Jesus at the same time.
What valuable lessons do you want readers to learn from your book?
How to have patience and the true meaning of waiting on the Lord regarding things you desire, including familial dreams. How to be thankful for the things you do have and what’s really important. How important it is to always be a light and an example of God’s love to those around you because you don’t know who may be secretly hurting or who God may use you to bless and encourage.
What’s next for you?
More fiction and non-fiction books and music as I write songs as well.
Find the author and the book:
Email Address: firstname.lastname@example.org
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